Check out this article from Parents.com to learn on best ways to navigate post pandemic life with your kids.

Shanaz Ikonne was featured in recent article by Cynthia J. Drake
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Why I'm Not Worried My Son Gave Up His Favorite Activity Because of COVID | Parents


Why I'm Not Worried My Son Gave Up His Favorite Activity Because of COVIDMy son's karate dreams were cut short during the pandemic. Now, he doesn't show any interest in getting back into his once favorite activity. Experts say that's totally OK, but offer advice on what parents in my situation should do.
By Cynthia J. Drake 
April 29, 2021


CREDIT: ILLUSTRATION: KAILEY WHITMAN.In the year before the pandemic hit, in every free moment he had, my then-9-year-old son, August, was learning basic Japanese vocabulary and cramming for his next karate belt test. In line at grocery stores and before bedtime, he practiced his kata moves over and over for us before finally flopping on his bed, excited energy still coursing through his limbs.
"What will you say when I get a black belt, Mommy?" he loved to ask. Slow to take to traditional sports or extracurricular activities, he was taking pride in his achievements and we were elated to witness him finally finding his "spark."
Cut to one year later: the community recreation center dojo my son attended is gone; his karate instructor has retired. His gi (uniform) hangs in the closet, likely too small now. The martial arts-themed cookie cutters I bought to celebrate his next belt achievement are unopened from their original box when I purchased them in March 2020: the month when everything would change for everyone, everywhere.

Parents have suffered significant hardship during the COVID-19 pandemic, grieving the loss of family members and friends, jobs, and a general sense of normalcy. My son's loss of karate—not the setbacks to my own career—most often brought me to tears. Of course, it hasn't been easy on our kids either.
"The overall theme for the clients that I've seen is grieving the loss of connection," says Shanaz Ikonne, LPC, NCC, a licensed professional counselor and registered play therapist in Austin, Texas, who focuses on children and families of color. "Even though children are resilient, they are social beings, and so they long for that interaction."
And grief and loss aren't the same for everyone. "For the BIPOC community during COVID, there's also stressors related to racial tension that can also be a factor in internalizing more isolation or feelings of loss or grief," says Ikonne.
With the arrival of vaccines comes hope for families to rebuild their routines and regain some of that longed-for connection and interaction in the upcoming months. But after more than a year of dealing with upended lives, many of us are probably wondering, how? Experts offer some ways to support our kids as they reemerge after more than a year of pandemic life.
Don't PushSome children may be ready to jump back into their favorite sport, but many may not be as eager to dive into the activities they loved pre-COVID. Though August initially missed karate and asked about it often at the beginning of the pandemic, at this point, he has stopped mentioning it at all.
"It's super common, and it's normal for children to pivot toward new interests," Ikonne says, particularly following a year or more away from their old former activities. During that time, kids have likely been exposed to new activities through social media or television and may be ready to shift gears.
Rather than putting too much emphasis on old activities if your child isn't feeling up to them, parents can encourage their kids to try out a couple of new options, advises Ikonne. Taking trial classes is a great way to boost their confidence for a small investment of time and money. Keep an open dialogue about what's working best for your child, acknowledging that it can be hard to try new things, but it can also be very rewarding.
And remember, there's nothing wrong with taking it slow. "There is a feeling of, we're ready to be done and once this is over, we'll be better. Give yourself permission to realize we can pace ourselves," says Lori Baudino, Psy.D., BC-DMT, a child psychologist based in Los Angeles. For example, you don't have to dive into an eight-hour playdate if you're not ready for it. "It's being aware of making space to come back to the home and come back to the quiet time, to have that balance as we re-enter," adds Dr. Baudino.
Create New RitualsChildren also thrive with consistency and predictability. That's part of the reason many of us (parents included) suffered during the pandemic. Experts say to look for ways to create routines or rituals in your daily life, especially as things start to reopen.
That can be a family game night or picnic, or it can be as simple as a regular morning cuddle on the couch before school. Maybe it's a weekly family bike ride to kickstart a return to physical activity.
"Rituals give [kids] a bridge to go out into the world, into a place that has been told to them that there's been a threat, but now we're telling them that it's safe," says Dr. Baudino. "But they have to work out that trust. It helps for kids to have some things they always know are the same, things that they can have control over."
Recognize Signs of StrugglePay attention to signs your kid might be having a hard time dealing with a shift back to normalcy. For younger children, Ikonne says symptoms like reverting back to thumb-sucking or bedwetting that persist longer than two weeks might indicate a need for some therapy. With elementary-age children, parents might see increased irritability, nightmares, avoidance of school, withdrawing from friendships, or their child might have more frequent physical complaints, such as increased headaches or stomach aches.
Oftentimes, kids who struggled before the pandemic are likely to have more pronounced symptoms of anxiety during and post-pandemic, according to the therapists. But don't be concerned if your child doesn't show any outward symptoms of anxiety or loss. Just like parents, some of them will take the changes in stride—particularly if that's what they see modeled for them.
"As parents, as we get back to this new norm, modeling the regulation for our children is key," says Ikonne. "Our children will follow our reactions. If you're caught up in the news all day or you're on your phone all day or talking about COVID a lot, that can create some dysregulation. If you're calm and collected and sharing facts in an age-appropriate way, reassuring them that things are going to be better, that'll create a positive outlook for the child."
​Have Open ConversationsIt can be healthy to acknowledge what was lost during the pandemic, and to talk through it with your kids. And always validate their feelings. Andrea Purrenhage, a mom of two in Mount Pleasant, Michigan, whose son missed out in a starring role in a local production of James and the Giant Peach, recalls him asking her, "Mom, tell me the truth: nothing is going to be normal again, is it?"
They worked through their shared sense of fear of the unknown together and he eventually came to feel grateful for the experience of being in theater, as well as the opportunity to create new family memories during COVID.
Focus on the PositivesI try not to write off the entire year as a loss. My younger son, whose entire kindergarten year took place virtually, learned the ins and outs of Zoom calls, how to submit his homework digitally, how to raise his hand and wait for the teacher to call on him out of 20-some Brady Bunch-style boxes each containing a wiggly 5-year-old.
"I would love that to be celebrated more—the patience, the resilience, all these skills they were learning, but they really got to use them during this time," says Dr. Baudino. "There's a sort of huge awareness that was given to all of us, and I don't want that to be lost on anyone."
In my case, we may not return to karate, but as my kids and I begin to think through future options, I'm grateful that we will approach our choices with greater intention and a sense of what is really important. And I know that eventually the spark will come back in its own way, for all of us.

8 week class designed for teen females and parents.  Group will meet once a week and discuss various topics.

​Our high school girls' groups (8 week class) help teens manage the stress that comes with high school and find balance with their academic, work/extracurricular life in addition to family, sports, and social commitments. High school is a time when youth are trying to find their identity, purpose, and interests while having a demanding class schedule and the expectations of parents, teachers and peers can become overwhelming; our group provides a safe platform for young women to share their experiences and learn from each other in a safe, non-judgmental and supportive yet collaborative environment. This group will give your teen a solid foundation to develop healthy relationships, build a sense of empowerment, a strong sense of self, ability to learn boundaries and manage stress and implement coping strategies for dealing with daily challenges high school and teen life can bring. Begins February 2018.  Contact Shanaz Ikonne, LPC, NCC at 469-626-9085/shanazlpc@gmail.com 
Our Parent support groups help parents recharge and reorganize their lives with gaining new tools for understanding their child/teen’s behaviors. Parent groups meet once a week for 8 weeks to learn how to have a deeper relationship with their children/teens. This group is designed for busy parents that need additional support from others to learn, grow, and gain new skills to help them have an abundant life. This group rotates and is available year-round. Evening hours available. Contact Shanaz Ikonne, LPC, NCC at 469-626-9085/shanazlpc@gmail.com Group begins February 2018.

Protect my progress? What does that look like or mean? Protecting your progress means taking active measures in your recovery. Each day you pick sobriety or relapse. Here are 10 simple steps to consider and be mindful of to avoid relapse.

1. Boredom. Many clients attend weekly therapy groups and family sessions however after they complete the program they fall back into their old habits. They start having the mindset that “I’m good now and I can do this on my own” which are false beliefs. The most common trigger for relapse is not having anything to do or going back to your old routine that consisted of using and being surrounded by old using peers and environments that are not conducive for recovery. Avoid boredom and develop a daily/weekly schedule and make your AA and NA meetings a priority then schedule around your important appointments i.e. psychiatrist, counseling, and sobriety meetings.
2. Create a schedule. It takes 21 days to make a habit and just a few days to fall out of it. Ever hear about 90 in 90? It means consistently setting the foundation for your sobriety by attending meetings each day for 3 months. Go to meetings. Go to meetings. Go to meetings. They are free and if you don’t like one try another one until you find the right fit to create an extra accountability piece with your sponsor. Whether you use your phone or a paper calendar make sure you have a schedule that is consistent from waking up, breakfast, exercise, work, after work activities, church, etc. If you ever attended a residential treatment program you remember the benefits of having a consistent schedule for your day and may have noticed your body responded well to it. Your body will get into a cycle and that is what it needs during the early stages of recovery. Make sure you are sleeping consistently at the same time each night. That is when your body restores itself. It takes 3 days to catch up on a poor night’s rest which translates into feeling fatigued, irritable, and may cause you to have increased urges.
3. Learn to relax. Develop a relaxation, meditation and prayer life. You will notice that when you feel overwhelmed and stress having techniques that are handy will benefit you. Sound machines that have rain or thunder may help in addition to deep breathing, yoga, and lavender oil.
4. Exercise. Make sure you make time for your physical health because it increases dopamine, serotonin, and overall increase concentration and memory. Daily runs and cardiovascular exercise increases in serotonin and norepinepherine levels, which can lead to, among other things, feelings of happiness and long lasting energy. According to a study published in 2003 in "Journal of Applied Physiology," researchers found that dopamine levels were raised during prolonged exercise but the levels returned to normal quickly. Running not your thing? Try Bikram yoga which helps with focus, gaining control, and breathing. Exercise should include a balance of cardio and weights for optimum results and for an added bonus exercising outdoors increases your vitamin D levels which are shown to decrease depressive symptoms.
5. Develop a sense of community. I always recommend my clients give back to the community by volunteering their time. It allows them an opportunity to find value and meaning in their efforts, build relationships with others in the community, meet new people, and develop a sense of gratitude. Thankful people experience less aches and pains and they report feeling healthier than others without a gracious mindset, according to a 2012 study published in Personality and Individual Differences. Those that practice daily gratitude are also more likely to take care of their health.  They exercise more often and are more likely to attend regular check-ups with their psychiatrist, therapists, and other doctors, which is likely to contribute to a fuller, longer life. For those looking for new friends for sobriety try meetup.com to engage in similar interests and hobbies in your area.
6. Eat for your health. Remember when you were using that meant your appetite was all over the place, whether you ate very littler or too much your body is needing nutrition to get back to its sober self. Choose foods that have complex carbohydrates such as brown rice or sweet potatoes compared to white rice/potatoes and increase protein which will reduce cravings and spikes in your blood sugar. Try reducing sugar during this time because sugar is addicting and can take the place of your drug of choice. Try to eat a balanced meal with tyrosine, tryptophan and amino acids which promote positive emotional states, mental clarity and alertness. Good examples include baked tofu, salmon and seafood, poultry, milk, bananas, sunflower seeds and turkey.
7. Know your triggers. Think people, places, and things. Drug paraphernalia, certain environments, and using buddies need to be cut off. Protecting your progress means doing what it takes to avoid unnecessary triggers. If you are uncertain about how to identify them your therapist can work with you on an individual basis to help you gain insight.
8. Boundaries. Are your boundaries healthy, porous or rigid? Examine them closely and keep tabs if others are violating your physical, emotional, and spiritual boundaries that may lead to relapse.
9. Know your PAWS. Post-accute withdrawal symptoms. They look different for everyone but knowing them early on in recovery will help keep your sanity and document progress. Let your treating doctor know about your symptoms and to discuss medication management if you have a co-occurring disorder i.e bipolar, schizoaffective, major depression, generalized anxiety, or trauma background, etc. PAWS symptoms include: inability to think clearly, memory problems, emotional overreactions or numbness, sleep disturbances, physical coordination problems, and stress sensitivity.
   
10. Higher Power. There is something unexplainable about surrendering all your issues, worries, anxieties to God. He is the ultimate healer and can provide you a way out of your addiction. Too many people in the early stages of recovery think they can manage it on their own, however those that learn to surrender find the peace that passes all understanding. When developing a routine and schedule remember to spend time with God. Those quiet moments, readings, and encouraging words will help guide you along the path of sobriety. Free daily devotions can be found at: http://www.whiteestate.org/devotional/ofc/08_15.asp

As Christ in His humanity sought strength from His Father, that He might be enabled to endure trial and temptation, so are we to do. We are to follow the example of the sinless Son of God. Daily we need help and grace and power from the Source of all power. We are to cast our helpless souls upon the One who is ready to help us in every time of need. Too often we forget the Lord. Self gives way to impulse, and we lose the victories that we should gain. Our Father Cares, June 20, pp 209-210.

Blessed Assurance, November 2

I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. Hebrews 13:5.
We have but one life to live, and through our daily connection with God we have, in and through the merits of the Lord Jesus Christ, a constant sustenance in doing the things that will represent Christ to the world. We may not have all the conveniences that some have in ease and comfort and in earthly goods, but we have the blessed assurance which Christ gave to His believing disciples.... To them He said, “Let not your heart be troubled: ye believe in God, believe also in me. In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also” (John 14:1-3)....
Blessed words! We may receive Him into our hearts, and He will be unto us hope and courage and sustaining grace. The Lord would have us trust fully and entirely in Him. Then we will, in the simplicity of our faith, believe that Christ will do for us all that He has promised. Let all come to the Saviour in the full assurance that He will do all that He has promised.
We cannot please our Saviour more than by having faith in His promises. His mercies can come to you, and your prayers can come to Him. Nothing can break this line of communication. We must learn to bring all perplexities to Jesus Christ, for He will help us. He will listen to our requests. We may come to Him in full assurance of faith, nothing doubting, for He is the living Way....
The more we press our petitions to His throne, the more sure we are of constantly receiving the great grace of our Lord Jesus Christ. You do not give strength to the road you are traveling by [having] faith. But you increase in strength and in assurance because you have a Guide right by your side, and you can ask Him with perfect faith to guide your steps aright.
Then trust in the Lord Jesus to lead you step by step into the right path. You can derive assurance and strength at every step you advance, for you can be assured that your hand is in His hand. You can “run and not be weary”; you can “walk and not faint,” for you can realize by faith that you have your hand in the hand of Christ. You will not sink under discouragement, for as you follow on to know the Lord, trusting in Him, you will have the assurance that the One who never forsakes those who fully trust Him is your constant Helper.—Letter 313, November 2, 1905, to Mabel White, her 19-year-old granddaughter.
Blessed Assurance, November 2

Remember to use coping skills when feeling overwhelmed but also know that God is your source of strength and will guide you and lead you along each path.

Research has shown the cultivating the attitude of gratitude and thanks will benefit your mental well being and often serve as a way to understand your blessings. When clients are feeling upset, sad, and lonely I ask them to start a gratitude journal and have them write down 5 things they are grateful for that day i.e. waking up, having their health, family, support, and clothes. Something as simple as 5 things a day has increased self-esteem and positive regard. I also ask clients to make the list and carry it with them and add to it each day. This serves as a reminder of life and how much they have to be thankful for each day. I ask them to reflect on the items written down and process their thoughts and feelings about it in session.

1. Dark chocolate-pure coco, not sugar or milk. 2-3 tablespoons of pure coco powder have higher anti oxidants. More flavonoids found in dark chocolate
2. Fish-salmon, herring, tuna, omega 3 fatty acids, one serving a week helps with brain functioning bc it coats neurons. Helps keep them lubricated.
3. Leafy greens-cabbage, romaine, spinach, memory and recall, B6, B12, iron, breaks down homocysteine levels
4. Nuts and seeds, walnuts, sunflower seeds, peanuts, etc-omega 3 and 6, B6, natural anti-depressants
5. Blueberries, blackberries, raspberries help with memory